Sunya

Rest.

If you are a working woman in the United States, working at home or in an environment away from home, the idea of being on the grind is often seen as a badge of honor; a sign of loyalty; the hallmark of a real winner. Rest is often devalued.  If you are an entrepreneur, there are countless motivational videos exhorting us to stay in "Beast Mode."  The spokespersons for these motivational videos are usually men- gravelly voiced, drenched in sweat, screaming, veins popping, ... these are usually super muscular guys on a mission.  I don't know about you, but I'm looking for balance, and ease in my life. I desire a fit and healthy body, and I'm willing to work for it-but I'm not going into beast mode to get it.  Let's be honest. Work for the sake of working oneself to death is overrated. What we have now is a population of sleep deprived, sleep- walking- through- life- zombies, often half-present for family, friends and loved ones. Some of us are burned-out, joy is elusive, and we are often too tired to do anything about it. How do I know? That was once ME for a period of years after divorce as I was trying to figure out what to do. (I once fell asleep at the wheel of my car coming home from work and ended up in someone's front yard- protected by a hedge of holly bushes.)  But I digress.

I learned there were better, healthier ways to show up in the world, and that we can do something about our overall well- being in all sectors of our lives. Rest is essential.

A recent presentation on Self-Care by Melinda Cohen of The Coaches Console brought a few thoughts to mind, so I'm sharing them here with you. Here are some things we can do to prioritize our mental health and wellbeing in relationship to holiday and workplace demands:

1.Make time for yourself. Each day set aside time for you to do something you enjoy, so you can find quiet, and reflect. Choose something that helps you to relax:  read, paint, color, pray, take a walk.  

2. Get enough sleep. Make sure to get enough sleep each night to ensure that you are well-rested, and able to focus during the day. Know what your body needs. Your amount of sleep, sleep hours, and sleep patterns may be different from those around you. Stay true to yourself.

3. Eat real food. Eating a balanced diet free from processed products will help you stay energized an alert during the day.

4. Move your body: Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and improve your overall physical and mental health. Pilates, aerobics, walking, stretching, taking a dance class, gardening-even cleaning will get your blood flowing throughout body for maximum benefit.

5.Take breaks. Take regular breaks throughout the day to give yourself a chance to unplug, recharge and refocus. Get serious about guarding your time. Rest and recharge.

6. Talk to someone:  If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, talk to a friend, or family member. A mental health professional can help you understand and manage your emotions.

7. Set boundaries:  This is absolutely essential.   Set boundaries with your work responsibilities, relationships, friends, and family and stick to them. Maintaining work-life balance starts with you. 

8. Know your spending triggers and maintain healthy spending habits. Don't overspend.  Remember your values, and relationships are far more important than anything you can buy.

Rest has historically been elusive for Black women-

Did you know that certain laws in colonial America codified Black women's labor as being equal to that of men's labor?  Black women were denied their femininity, the ability to be soft, and were seen as akin to workhorses and mules. The historical vestiges of these laws are reflected in the elusive reality of rest for many Black women today.  Black women in particular, may face additional stressors over the holidays due the intersection of their identities.  We may experience additional stress due to the lack of representation in the workplace, diminished access to resources, and the additional burden of being the primary caregiver in our families.  We may also experience additional stress due to the lack of financial support from our families and communities and the additional burden of being the primary breadwinner. Often volunteering for political parties, churches, community and social causes is socially and culturally expected.  Furthermore, Black women may experience additional stress due to the additional burden of being the primary source of financial stability in our families. Our plates are full.

Be kind. Let's end this year with a commitment to take better care of ourselves and one another. 

And yes... take naps!

Sunya